Words to Live By

DANCE like there is nobody watching.
LOVE like you'll never get hurt.
SING like there's nobody listening.
LIVE like its's heaven on earth.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

FaceBook Break-Up

One of the online sites that I was using was sending me a lot of matches from Connecticut. I was getting so many matches that I had begun to joke that the universe was trying to tell me that I should move to Connecticut. I usually closed out all of these matches with the reason that the distance between us was too far. In November 2008 I was sent a match from Norwalk, Connecticut. Something about this one made me decide to keep this one open. That would turn out to be a mistake.
So in November we started going back and forth with the questions and answers and by Thanksgiving we were into open communication and exchanging phone numbers. When we started speaking on the phone, the conversations came naturally and lasted for hours. Sometimes it seems that these conversations become these tedious interviews, where the two parties are trying to come up with questions to learn more about each other. Our conversations just flowed. They were about our lives, what was happening in the present, what we had been through in the past and even what the future could bring.
In the beginning of December we decided to take the next step and meet. One Saturday afternoon he took the ferry over and I met him in Port Jefferson. Everything seemed to go well that first date. It was not too cold that day, so we walked around town for awhile before we found a place for dinner. I was even brave and trusting, trying Sushi for the first time, and letting him order the food. I still have no idea what I ate that day, although it was good. After dinner we went for coffee and then back home to talk for a few more hours before he took the ferry back to Connecticut. Before he left we made plans to see each other the following weekend. This time I would go to Connecticut.
The following weekend, off I went to Connecticut. Again the weekend seemed to go well…dinner, the bookstore, a night watching television, breakfast, and a walk along the beach. And then the next weekend he came back to Long Island.
During the week and in between our visits, we would talk almost every day. In some of our conversations we had discussed the fact that we lived in separate states and were separated by water. We had talked about the idea that if things went well then there was the options for both of us to be able to adjust our schedules enough to come see the other one during the week. I said I could work my schedule and commute from the ferry a day or two during a week here or there if we wanted. And he worked for a company doing computer graphics and at times could really work from anywhere. Then he asked me a hypothetical question one day. What if our relationship got really serious, would I move to Connecticut? I said that honestly, if we got that serious, it would make more sense for me to move because he made more money, and yes I would.
Well, then came Christmas and it fell on a weekend. We had only been dating a few weeks, so there was no expectation to be together for the holidays. Christmas Day I am at one of my relative’s and in the evening I get a message from him on facebook. It says that he does not think that this is working and he realizes that he needs a girlfriend that he can call and see anytime he wants. Here I am, trying to celebrate with my family, and now I am looking at this message on my phone that is telling me I have just been dumped. I excuse myself, go outside and try to call him. No answer. So I leave a message to call me back. Then I call my friend, because now I am upset, and I am still with family and have a 45 minute drive home. My friend calms me down and tries to cheer me up by offering to go and take out his knee caps. When I get home, he has not called me back, so I respond back on the computer. I try to remind him of our conversations about seeing each other during the week. I said something about the fact that you don’t always find love 15 minutes away from you. Well the next day I get a message back from him, again on facebook. He tells me that he was only trying to give me a “heads up” with that message the night before. He writes that he had planned to speak to me the next day, but now since I have been confrontational he is not talking to me and then he blocked me on facebook. Confrontational? I responded to him on facebook because that was how he sent me the message and he did not answer the phone. And a “heads up?” Really? What was up with that? Was it so necessary to destroy my Christmas? He could not have just waited till the next day.
You know what I have to say to this – COWARD!!
Oh, and just in case you are wondering, as tempting as it might have been, I did not have my friend go and take out his knee caps.

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