Words to Live By

DANCE like there is nobody watching.
LOVE like you'll never get hurt.
SING like there's nobody listening.
LIVE like its's heaven on earth.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Toast

I would say that I probably seriously started with the Internet dating sites in September of 2008 and at that time I joined three of them. In November I went on my first actual meeting. The site that I have used the most first sends you the “matches” that they think you are most compatible with. There is a description, usually age, eye color, hair color, height, race, religion, occupation, town, and some basic interests. Often there is a picture. If you or the other person is interested then you have the choice to send a series of questions back and forth until you get to open communication, which is basically e-mail through their site. At this point you can choose to provide your own personal e-mail, phone number etc.
So at this point Mark and I had gone through all of these stages, had communicated through our own e-mail and had begun talking on the phone. On the phone he seemed benign enough. He worked for a magazine; he did repairs on his own home, had never been married and had no children. So we agreed to meet. His first suggestion was that we get together for dinner and go to a restaurant in Nassau County. Well I vetoed that idea right away. We both lived here in Suffolk County and I was not about to get in the car for a 45 minute ride with someone I had never met before. Plus, what if we did not get along? Then that left the 45 minute drive home. No way. So I suggested that we meet for brunch one Sunday at a local restaurant.
Seeing as though I had not been on the dating scene in a long time and had not met Mark in person, two of my dearest friends decided that they needed to chaperon my meeting. But Mark did not know this. So they arrived at the restaurant early and got a table before us. Because they were there first and there was a wait, they put my name down for a table. When they were getting seated they wanted to make sure they were able to see us, so they explained to their waiter what was happening. As I arrived and looked for a parking space, I drove down the block, passed in front of the restaurant and saw that they were sitting outside waiting for their table, but Mark was standing right in front of them. I parked the car around the corner, called and told them who he was and they moved their location. When I arrived Mark was a bit surprised when my name was called 5 minutes later for a table. But he was there before me? How was that possible? I quickly said that I had already been there before him and put my name down and then taken a walk while I was waiting. My friends were already seated inside.
So there we are, seated at the table and trying to find things to talk about. At this point I barely remember our conversation. What I remember most is that I never took off my sweater and I could not wait to get out of there. I remember that he said “um” after almost everything. The one topic that has stayed with me this entire time was that he asked me about skiing. Now I have never skied. I will admit that I am not the most athletic person and my coordination is not the best. So I have always felt that staying off the ski slopes was in my best interest if I wanted to stay in one piece. But that does not mean I cannot date someone who skis. My boyfriend in high school did and he went without me. There was no problem with that. What really turned me off was when Mark talked about belonging to a ski club. I thought to myself….are we back in high school? I thought we were in our thirties here. Did you just say “club?” He really lost me there, if he had not already completely lost me with the “ums.” Then he asked me what I had planned for the rest of the day and I told him that my friend and I were going shopping. He said, oh yes, I need to go to the supermarket. Alright, that is also shopping. But when a girl tells you that her and her girlfriend are going shopping, we are talking clothes, shoes, not the grocery store.
So when brunch was over and the waiter came back to the table, I was quick to point out how busy the restaurant was and we should let them have the table. He paid the bill and walked me to my car. He shook my hand, told me he had a nice time and then went on to his car. I got into mine and first called my one friend, no answer. Then I called the other, no answer. I thought to myself, some protection these two are. He could have mugged me here on the street and where are you two? A few minutes later they called me back and said that they had been finishing their breakfast. It was too good to leave! I met them behind the restaurant and they proceeded to tell me that they had told the waiter that they were watching us. The waiter had been reporting back to them on everything we ordered, that we were talking and he seemed very interested and that he paid the bill. I told them that I was completely bored and asked “Do I have to continue dating?”

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